more poetry..
"Dress up pretty" ("my androgyny") (lyrics/poem) (2022)
“Dress up pretty
Dress up skinny
Dress up like the celebrity I like again
See if she notices me
See if she notices me, this time,
this time…
put on a fancy hat
put on a butch shirt.
lol.
my androgyny
my androgyny
I like my androgyny
dancing in the garden
weighing myself on the pavement
hope I don’t go to hell
for my androgyny
for my androgyny
for being me
anal retentive
messy
androgyny.
Dress up pretty
Dress up skinny
Dress up like the celebrity I like again
See if she notices me
See if she notices me, this time,
this time…
my androgyny
my androgyny.”
“Dress up pretty” (“my androgyny”)
- by Kelly Alexandra Hoff (“Alix”), June 2022
~~~
“summer 2022 (camp)”
by Kelly Alexandra Hoff, Alix
“bandana and my camping tent
I’m wrapping up my presents
taking a break from the internet
the I - ternet
reading, reading
books are fun
flashlight
starlight
bagels and fun
bagels and cum
Bleach now on my iPhone radio
in the house
avoiding school still
think I’ll drive a bus
if I can’t drive a truck
for my day job
praying in my tent
rosary around my neck
singing in my tent
rosary around my neck
gonna go to church
not kill myself
when I’m not feeling loved
when I’m not feeling as loved
Trying harder
Trying harder
Bruising easily still,
trying harder,
trying harder.”
~ “summer 2022 (camp)” by Kelly Alexandra Hoff, July 20, 2022
~~~
"bars and guitar"
by Kelly Alexandra Hoff, Alix
“I was gonna hang out with that pajamas man
and then I didn’t
thinking about heading over to that bar
Ask to play some music for them for some
cash
maybe grab a beer, tacos, ask -
for a job
wonder if I’ll find that cool pajamas man
think I’ll busk outside the Ace Hardware and
convenience store, Ragin Cagin
see if the other poor people will tip me since -
can’t get over to the game
over to the rich part of town
think I’ll wonder around
throw my heart around with my guitar
don’t throw my heart around, being a whore
see what I can make
see what’s in store
make some money
Since it’s not like going to the candy store
with that Jewish man I dated
gotta be good
gotta be a good girl
like my dog
don’t be a whore.
Gonna take myself to the candy store
on my own terms
talk to my friend in another way
don’t be a whore.
today.
today
today.”
~ Kelly Alexandra Hoff, “bars and guitars,”
Sunday, July 24, 2022; 10:49am
Ragin Cagin - Ragin’ Cajun
~~~
“My man”
“I wanna go to the blues saloon
I wanna play with my man.
Jam all night…
I can.
I can.
Rock & Roll,
good for the soul.
play ball
wanted to play ball.
but I’m all old now.
38 and growing.
oh so old.
I feel so old.
gonna wear my lashes
out on the town.
should I play on the street?…
visit the country men.
Thinking of so many country men…
Thinking of so many country men.
Don’t retire my hat, my hats, of course.
my old cowboy hats
That are actually my ex-boyfriend’s.
my wonderful man.
my stand-up man.
Would be a family man.
but he’s my jazz man.
oh how I miss him so.
when he’s at home or on the road.
and so far away.
take me home!
he’s still mine.
for eternity.
Some day we’ll be together.
at the jazz club,
at home.
his or mine.
on the road.
round about town.
Love my man.
Love my man.
Love my man.
Gonna listen to Elvis
& fantasize
about being a
rock star.
about being yours.
anywhere. at home
or on the road.
I’m yours forever.
Stand-up man.”
~ “My man” (“Rock & Roll”) by Kelly Alexandra Hoff. written: December 30, 2022; evening.
